really strange… everytime he’s back in Town (after visiting his home town) he’s different. kind of cold but not the hot ‘n’ cold cold but cold as ice and unapproachable. I mean on one hand I understand, I guess it would be the same for me. I would feel guilty and like betraying my partner and yah that’s right even though nothing happened. It’s all about feelings, I know he likes me – probably a bit more – and in my mind it’s even worse to have such feelings for someone else than your partner than to cheat on them physically! if his feelings were not like that, why then should he be acting like this? like he’s feeling guilty and he wants to get rid of that feeling by avoiding meeting me or talking to me. Until a few hours ago I didn’t even know if he’s already back or not, usually we bump into each other at least once a day… since I didn’t see him yesterday and almost all day today I’m sure he’s trying to acoid me cause he doesn’t even pass by my office 😮
time to sleep now and perhaps dreams of him 👫
I want him! I want him now!!!! I want him for always!!!! “My” Lion…. I miss him. didn’t see him for 3 days now and I really miss him… fu**, it’s ridiculous right?!?! 🙄 I can’t stop thinking about him…. He is the first thought when I wake up and the last before I fall asleep. gosh, it’s so soppy 😌
My boss is the best boss….I love him so much, and no it’s not that I fell in love with him but (I don’t know how but) he gives me the family feeling I never had… hugging him is like hugging my best friend, being close to him… Probably that’s weird but my family is SHITTY and not caring, but he does..!! and actually today it was the first time he wanted me to hug him. I did it and in the first place it felt awkward but then it felt so good and right!!! I never felt that protected. that’s actually quite sad, isn’t it? cause my family should give me that feeling………. the good thing about growing older is that you can choose your family 😉
Goooosh, what’s my problem?? what’s wrong with me? I have no idea what’s going on… men, stupid men!! some of them know exactly how to handle us, they drive us crazy, at least there’s the one (Lion) who’s perfectly good in driving ME crazy. He’s just so incredible. I can’t stop thinking about him and his lips and his neck and his hands on my hips… 😏 sigh playing hot and cold and flirting and hmmm… but when it comes to all these things I’m a match for him! I know how to play hot ‘n’ cold and I know how to tease him just as good as he knows how to tease me!! 🙃 I know I should try to stop but it’s almost impossible… everytime I see him and everytime he smiles at me I get such a warm feeling deep in my belly. I just need to think of him smiling and I start smiling – not just smiling, I guess it looks more like a goofy grin 😌 and in some situations he’s so cute, treating me like I was important to him… I can’t even believe! just like at a party when he was ALWAYS standing really close to me, so close that I could smell him and I guess he could smell me and I felt protected by him… or this week right before the training. I almost bumped into him on the way to the lockers. He was smiling and asked: “what are you doing?” “I just want to lock up my bag” Immediately he started to undo his key wristband, walked me to the lockers and put my bag into his locker… 😮 I was surprised, shocked and impressed, all at the same time! I mean sometimes he’s communing with me and it feels so right. Everytime I feel like I felt last year when we spent this one night together… we were lying arm in arm, I was stroking his cheek, watching his lips while he was smiling tenderly holding me tight. It’s quite strange that I remember that feeling I had in that moment that well… I mean, why do I? After this one night, we were not even close to each other and he was treating me quite unkind blaming me for him cheating on his gf when I didn’t even know he was in a realtionship. Back then we were partying with some friends and he and I we were dancing together – proper dancing – then I asked him whether we should go home… so we took a taxi home and actually I planned to go home (my home), but when we were in front of his house and he got out of the car, he leaned forward looked at me held out his hand and grabbed mine. Lion made me get off the car, paid the driver and kissed me… gosh that memory makes my flesh crawl!! 😍 That night was just like a dream and it felt so right. And then a couple of weeks ago from one day to the other somehow everything changed. Just because he paid quite a lot attention to me everytime we ran into each other on the corridor… btw he could go another way, like he did before, but noooo he’s taking the way through the corridor in front of my office now, every day and then last week I catched him standing in the corridor checking his results on the window board in front of my office… what the hell?? why in front of my office and why not in his office or lab? and why is he acting jealousy? for example when I was texting/flirting with the Russian guy. He was staring at me and then he asked “who is it?” “That’s not your business 😝” He looked at me open-mouthed saying “I was just wondering…” and I need to admit my answer was not the nicest “Oh well that’s your problem 😂” He still/again open-mouthed and confused didn’t know what to say! I was just laughing… 😂 and a few days ago I was drinking beer in the yard with his (married) colleague Jersey. At some point we decided to visit Lion. He seemed very confused when he realised that Jersey and I just had a beer together – just the two of us. Afterwards the three of us had one more beer. Well, a few hours later he asked me – trying to act as casual as possible 😆 – how it happened that his colleague and me were drinking beer together. Jealousy alarm?!?! 😂
wooow I don’t know… on the one hand it’s really funny and cute when he’s acting like this, but then again he has a gf, a long-distance relationship. I just need to recall that fact and I’m falling from cloud number nine straight to the ground… I wish I had a parachute, perhaps it wouldn’t hurt that much?! and what’s even worse… I know he’s with her right now, celebrating a wedding. Unfortunately the first picture that appeared in my head when I woke up was her lying in his arms 😢 and another thing is that another colleague of him and his wife are good friends with his gf… That doesn’t make it easier!!!! 😕😢
ok, I try to stop thinking about my Lion now. otherwise I’ll go crazy!! binge watching series is always good to suppress feelings and thinkings 😉 especially watching #Shameless makes you feel better 😁 cause it can’t get worse… right?! 😅
Since a friend of mine is on holiday over the weekend, she asked me to watch over her cats. they are so cute and good and well behaving… incredible 😊 I’m really enjoying it and not only the time with the cats but also the time in a different ambiance, so it actually feels a little bit like holidays 😉
Why are feelings that complicated? or is it just me? am I complicating things? yes, I think it’s me. instead of enjoying the fact that three guys are interested in me – just one of them really interesting, unfortunately the one with a gf – the other my colleague and the last one definitely not interesting.
I think my behaving is kind of a pattern. I mean why is the one with the gf the most interesting one for me? like always… hmmm cause I do not want to bond? I would like to have someone I love and who loves me but I’m not sure whether I could deal with a serious relationship! 😑 the other one, my colleague… hmmm I still don’t know. I mean he’s nice and cute and texting me everyday even when both of us are at work but he is way too shy for me. I would like to have a combination of them both. It would be the perfect man for me right now, perhaps I would be able to overcome my fear of bonding… but maybe not! I definitely should stop thinking that much about it. I want to enjoy but yeah…
so incredibly disgusting scenes but one of the best series I’ve ever seen!!! #lovingmadsmikkelsen
It’s been a long time since I posted the last time and actually quite a lot happened during these weeks…
first of all I quit birth control cause for what? eeerrr I don’t have a bf and I don’t have sex and if I have the opportunity to have sex I use a condom. Taking all these hormones can’t be good and surprisingly I don’t feel a difference in mood or body or anything else… So let’s see if it’s gonna stay so.
Next I finally went to the doctor to have checked on my TSH levels and everything else that could show that I had a metabolic problem. Of course I know I could do better to lose weight but I’m not eating that much and I’m doing sports at least 3 times a week and I’m still gaining weight… This just can’t be right!!! 😞
And another thing – as usual – MEN… what the hell is going on with them?? One I have had sex with more than a year ago started flirting and grinning at me weeks ago. I mean back then when we had sex, afterwards he blamed me that he cheated on his gf…!!! wtf? I didn’t even know that he had one until he provocatively said it in front of me a few days later… and now he’s really trying to spend time with me and he’s always coming that close, permanently wanting to talk to me but in the end nothing happens. This week the both of us were together 2 times for quite a long time in the night – alone – chatting, flirting, having a lot of fun and then the both of us went home not together… I’m not sure, I guess he’s still in a relationship with this girl and actually I shouldn’t care right? cause anyway I do not want to have a relationship to a guy who’s permanently cheating on his gf… how do you say? the way you get them, is how you lose them. 😑
okayyy and then there’s this other guy – my colleague. We are flirting and enjoying it for weeks now, but nothing happens cause he’s just too shy (? I guess). he’s texting me almost every day and I was smiling when I realised it was him. but then 2 days ago there was a big party at the university and it would have been the perfect opportunity to hang out together, but sir decided not to come because
I should stop drinking alcohol and furthermore there are lots of people I don’t know and me sober
blaaaa c’mon is he serious??? is he really that antisocial? I mean ok his English unfortunately is (still) quite bad after over a year working in our working group (where we need to speak English) and he’s still too shy, unconfident?!?! What should I do with a guy who’s not able to keep up with me and my friends and my social life?!?!
Sorry, neeext…
goooosh, I hate being ill. the doctor says it’s not angina YET, but I definitely need to rest and recover otherwise it will become angina 😳 sitting/lying around all day is challenging when you want to do sports almost every day cause you want to lose weight…
2nd time paddling and this time I tried sitting on the left side… mhmmm never again! after 20 powerful strokes my arms didn’t obey me anymore, and unfortunately the girl in front of me wasn’t bending forward properly, so I had to focus even more on my moves and make sure I won’t hit her back with my paddle… actually my arms are already hurting (last time only my lower back hurt, what means that I as doing it right). tomorrow I will be swearing as soon as I weak up I guess! but anyway I’ll do the crosstrainer tomorrow morning 😊 conclusion?? next time again on the right side 😜
Ms Green Eurydice 